Guest Post: We Found 2 People Who Watched Every* Movie Jennifer Beals Has Ever Been In
Two sapphics go where nobody asked them to
*Almost
Today’s guest post is co-written by friends of The Yearning Sara Walker and Carmen Borca-Carrillo, both acclaimed Jennifer Beals experts and also the only couple we know to own an original box set of The L Word Seasons 1-6 on DVD.
Written by Sara Walker and Carmen Borca-Carrillo
A month ago, we were different people.
A month ago, we were just two L Word fans, rewatching a historic show, wishing we could somehow get more of the one, the only, Jennifer Beals (henceforth referred to as “JB”).
A month ago, we embarked on a silly, lighthearted quest. We’d watch a few of JB’s movies, say, “gosh, she’s pretty,” about a thousand times, and go back to life as we knew it.
How wrong we were. It became so much more. We stand before you today 40 movies stronger, 7 region-one DVDs richer1, and absolutely changed: as sapphics, as fans, as film critics. We have boldly gone, and we can’t stress this enough, where nobody asked us to go.
Jennifer Beals is best known for her breakout role as Alex Owens in 1983’s Flashdance and her six-year run as infamous power suit lesbian, Bette Porter, on Showtime’s The L Word (2004-2009). We were smitten from the jump, as Bette girlbossed all over LA wearing a beautiful pair of little red sunglasses in the pilot episode. Not only did Bette endure all the truly horrendous ups and downs of soap-opera writing (she cheats! She’s cheated on! She cheats with the one she both cheated on and was cheated on by!), but JB weathered each increasingly insane turn with genuine grace—bringing a grounded, human core to a character that should’ve gone off the rails time and time again2.
How was it, then, that when we went to find more movies starring this actor—who had both the magnetic talent for a big-screen career and the sort of name recognition a blockbuster like Flashdance should’ve afforded her—we found ourselves watching a two-hour long movie about jury selection in which she utters one word the entire time? Why were we buying DVDs emblazoned with salacious taglines in Spanish and Korean (see below)? Will a random Letterboxd user ever respond to our request to buy a bootleg Japanese made-for-TV VCR copy of The Madonna and the Dragon?!
We’ve watched 40 films, and we have been on a journey. The 1980s featured over-the-top dramas pitting a 20-something JB as femme fatale against the predatory likes of Nicolas Cage and Sting (STING!). Then, a 90s stint where she honed her craft in NYC indie flicks alongside her first husband and a few guys named Steve Buscemi, Sam Rockwell, and Stanley Tucci. There were some truly wacky flicks around The L Word aughts; followed by a 2010s turn to Hallmark-esque afterschool specials. And now, it seems, a future in new, relatively under-the-radar media with purpose in the 2020s.
What we’ve witnessed is the arc of an actor becoming an artist– no exaggeration needed. JB is a performer who has carved out many a niche for herself, and fully inhabited each one. She’s an artist with a voice; an arbiter of film; and, in her own words, a lover of stories
We thank The Yearning for the opportunity to share our scientific findings and give purpose to the immense amount of movie trivia we’ve collected over the past month. What follows is a chronological odyssey through JB’s filmography. Now—we watched so many goddamned movies, we cannot comment on or even list every one. For an encyclopedic look at JB’s work, you can refer to this BEAUTIFUL spreadsheet we made. Our knowledge is for the people.
We’ve reviewed these movies according to the following original metrics:
JBness™
JBness™ is an unnamable quality. It is that which JB brings to each of her roles. It is always present, though it shines more depending on the type of role, her screen time, and whether or not she has an accent.
Example: Bette Porter (The L Word) is a 5/5 JB Index role due to extensive screen time, plot relevance, and a clear JB quality brought to the character. Alex Owens (Flashdance) is a 3/5 JB Index role due to screen time and relevance, but JB’s youth and relative distance from creative control slightly lower this score.
Queerness
Relevant due to JB’s iconic presence as power lesbian Bette Porter as well as the fact that we are gay. This role had an indelible impact on queer representation, as well as the queering of JB’s own image. How then, does this translate to her larger body of work?
Queerness here refers to: explicitly queer onscreen content; queer context surrounding a movie’s production/fandom; and general queer vibes (we love to queer inbetween the lines)
Is this a good movie?
A necessary question because as you will see, they can’t all be winners.
Would we recommend this movie?
A different question to the above, you’ll agree.
The following list spotlights JB’s films of consequence and selects specific films that exemplify the eras of her career and the tenets we’ve learned from her body of work: the roles she lent her voice to, the filmmakers she shared visions with, and the stories she helped champion.
Flashdance (1983)
You’ve heard of it, your mom probably loves it. A tale as old as time: an eighteen year old welder by day, burlesque dancer by night, sits in a chair and ice bucket challenges herself. Along the way she rides her bike through Pittsburgh and falls in love with her 40-something boss.
JBness: ✰✰✰
She’s there! She’s giving stunning, queer-coded, bi-racial! She’s on a bike and has a big ass dog which is very in her element! The absurdity of the dance scenes honestly lowered this score for me (the body doubles of it all).
QUEERNESS: ✰✰✰✰
See below
Is this a good movie? Kinda…
This movie defined an era. It had teens across the nation cutting up their sweatshirts (which in a shock to no one was JB’s actual sweatshirt). This movie made her a teen heartthrob and ignited a thousand sapphics’ mid 80’s gay awakening.
That being said, watching this movie today does leave you with that unknowable bad taste in your mouth. The movie, unabashedly, predicates itself on HOT GIRL. One of the most chilling moments is in the opening when two 40-something men ogle Alex Owens, moonlighting as a sexy dancer, and the manager recites her SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER to the boss while wagging his eyebrows. Hello?! HR!?
In a DVD exclusive interview (oh we dove DEEP for this project), the director, Adrian Lyne, talks about creating the character’s wardrobe for the movie and finding young women in baggy, masculine clothes sexy.
It is sexy in a gay way to watch Alex Owens, dressed in combat boots, baggy jeans, and an army surplus store jacket bike through the streets of Pittsburgh. It is sexy in a gay way to see her go home to her huge industrial loft, which she shares with her massive brown pitbull named Grunt, and drink a diet Pepsi while watching dance TV. So to now have the context of Lynne dressing an eighteen year old Beals in baggier clothes because it’s sexy for a man to imagine a young woman’s body beneath those clothes makes us feel icky. Not to mention that the famous bra scene was added after JB did it during a conversation with wardrobe and Lynne prior to the start of shooting.
Would I recommend this movie?
Yes! All in all I think this is a fun piece of pop-culture history. A movie that dared to ask, “what if we just made a very long music video for the Irene Cara song ‘What a Feeling’?” and “is sexiness a plot?”. I also think that it can be as gay as we want it to be. You can view this movie through Alex’s strong female friendships, beautiful dog, and punk inspired outfits. I can more or less block out the character of Nick, played by Michael Nouri, entirely and forget that a 40 something year old man is clearly exploiting his young employee and that NOBODY is stepping in to protect her. For the most part.
- Sara
The Bride (1985)
A mid ‘80s remake of The Bride of Frankenstein. JB plays Eva, a beautiful corpse reanimated by Dr. Frankenstein (played by Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner…aka Sting) to be the wife of his first monster (played by Clancy Brown…aka the voice of Mr. Eugene Krabs)
JBness: ✰✰✰✰
Sorry! This is her movie!! JB STUNS as a beautiful, dropped out of space princess. You also clearly see a development in her acting between this and Flashdance. She pushes the bounds of a decidedly passive role, and leaves you with a feeling that Eva knows more than she lets on.
Queerness: ✰✰
This is for the B-plot friendship, as well as for the one scene where JB is turning in circles and whipping a stick around.
Is this a good movie?
YES! (if you, too, are a fan of the strange and the absurd)
I was deeply surprised by this one. From the first, insane, sequence I was totally prepared for a Rocky Horror knockoff starring Sting (which I also would've loved to see), but was quickly let down when I realized that no one would be singing.
As this is a version of the 1935 Universal Pictures’ classic The Bride of Frankenstein, it is also a loose predecessor to Yorgos Lanthimos’ 2023 Best Picture nominee Poor Things. While Emma Stone’s performance as the sexy baby turned surgeon, Bella Baxter, is more honed, JB’s Eva doesn’t fall too far behind.
We see Eva learn the ways of the world, first under the tutelage of
STINGSting, whose intellect she quickly surpasses. Her performance takes a character who could easily turn into beautiful set dressing for (just reminding you) STING (!!) into a thoughtful woman contending with the Patriarchy. Match that with a touching performance from Brown and you get a surprisingly heartfelt, though confusing, movie.
Would I recommend this movie?
YES! For the insane line delivery, for Sting’s portrayal of Dr. Frankenstein as Count Dracula, for the heartfelt running away to the circus subplot, and for the many moments of “oh my god, that’s so-and-so!”
- Sara
Dr. M (1990)
A French/German 1990 punk rock fever dream about the Y2K panic. JB plays Sonja Vogler, a model whose ads for a mysterious Club Med-esque resort seem to be linked to a string of suicides throughout West Berlin.
JBness: ✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰
I cannot put into words how much I love JB in this movie. She’s so cunty as Sonja! Her outfits are so fucking cool I can’t stand it. Though this is a hetero couple, they have such great chemistry that I almost forgive that. You have to see it to believe it.
Queerness:
You tell me, dog:
We meet Sonja in West Berlin, in the middle of a club, pre-reunification, moshing in a muscle tank. You guys. YOU GUYS!!! This is HUGE.
Is this a good movie?
Yes. In that weird, video store, Gregg Araki, movie being projected on the wall at the alt college party kind of way.
Would I recommend this movie?
YES (if you can find it). This is a little freak movie and I love it.
- Sara
In the Soup (1992)
When we began this project, one of my greatest questions was “what happened after Flashdance?” JB was an absolute icon of the 80s, an icon in The L Word, but had—in Hollywood terms—disappeared in between. The answer, seemingly, are these films.
Shot in black and white, on what could only be a shoestring budget, weaving a tale of what it means to be an artist and what someone thinks it means to be an artist, In the Soup is the first (and perhaps best known) entry into what we call the “Rockwell era” of JB’s career.
In the Soup is the first movie JB stars in that was directed by her husband from 1986-1996, Alexandre Rockwell3. In these films, JB is part of a rotating retinue of up-and-coming NYC actors who are now A-listers like Steve Buscemi, Stanley Tucci, Peter Dinklage, Karyn Parsons4 and Sam Rockwell—the last of which JB introduced to her husband5.
It’s a chapter of her career we hold near and dear– and judging by JB’s dedication to restoring the film’s archival print for its 25th anniversary, so does she.
JBness: ✰✰✰✰ (that accent…)
In this film, JB is the Madonna/whore star of the esoteric and purposefully opaque movie-within-a-movie Steve Buscemi is trying to direct. Buscemi spends his time trying desperately to cast his spitfirey, hard-knocks, *insert another adjective used to describe Latina women here*, neighbor: Jennifer Beals. Here are the plot points relevant to my review: JB has a crush that won’t leave her alone (Buscemi). JB has a no-good husband (Stanley Tucci). JB has a stepson (Sam Rockwell). JB has a Hispan-ish accent.
Queerness: ✰✰
Both stars awarded for the boho film vibe.
Is this a good movie?
Yes. All of the above makes for fascinating insight into a specific period and place of filmmaking, and of course, JB’s role in it: 1990s NYC, low-budget movie sets, telling a story, weaving a tale, singing a foible. It’s all very bohemian. It all feels very purposeful. There is a sense of watching a set of artists become the very talented artistes they’ll be in another ten years—the camera is blurry, the characters are off-kilter, and yet, these movies know exactly what they want to be and what they want to say.
Would I recommend this movie?
Yes—though personally, I prefer some other movies from this era!
- Carmen
Caro Diario (1993)
Caro Diario, or Dear Diary, is a semi-autobiographical film by and starring Italian director Nanno Moretti. In three chapters, his train-of-thought narration takes viewers around sun-drenched Rome on the back of his Vespa; into tight-knit villages on the Aeolian Islands; and into Moretti’s own house, littered with pharmaceutical jars as he tries to cure himself of an itching ailment. One of Moretti’s early musings is about the love of dance 1983’s Flashdance instilled in him– which is where JB comes in.
JBness: ✰✰✰
JB is in this movie for all of five minutes, playing herself. When Moretti sees her on a random sidewalk in Rome, he abandons his Vespa to speak with her, yelling her name (with an exquisite extra Italian syllable at the end, “Beals-zuh!”). She turns, says “this guy seems off,” and then proceeds to, half in broken Italian, half in English, explain to Moretti what it means for someone to be “off” (“Queer? A little strange…”). Then, they part ways, and Moretti’s life continues on, seemingly unchanged.
Queerness: ✰✰
JB’s role is almost a meta-commentary on the way her own celebrity has evolved off-screen since 1983. Her presence in this film seems like a happy accident, a cross between her own desire to make this art and the name recognition she holds as an arbiter of pop culture. There are movies on this list it feels like JB did for her own career or for the sake of art; and then there are the ones like this: that feel like JB wanted to introduce us to, by way of enveloping them into her filmography.
Separately, I am dying to know how she ended up in this movie. Was she just in Rome by chance at the time of filming? Was this called in as a special favor? Was this actually JB’s way of taking part in an Italian auteur’s work? Whatever the reason, I’m thankful it happened.
Is this a good movie?
Yes.
Would I recommend this movie?
Yes. Please treat yourself to this movie. I cried multiple times out of sheer love for the world we live in and the ways we show our subtle joy for living even in the darkest times.
- Carmen
The Twilight of the Golds (1996)
“Ten fingers, ten toes…and gay. Do you still want him?” Is the tagline of this movie that’s equal parts abomination and absolute gift. JB plays the daughter of a wealthy, conservative Jewish family. She finds out via genetic testing that her unborn child is genetically predisposed to homosexuality (he’s got the Gay Gene). For the next 80 minutes, she, her homophobic father (Garry Marshall), overbearing mother (Faye Dunaway), and gay brother (Brendan Fraser) wrestle with the moral conundrum: should she have an abortion?
Yes, this one is a doozy—but hear me out. Sara coined the term “Gay Movie Archeology” for the uncomfortable and somewhat competing feelings this movie evokes. It feels like finding a relic from a bygone era that’s equal parts fascinating and horrific. Thank god it already exists, because it could never be made today.
JB-Ness: ✰✰✰✰
One important point here: I do not believe JB’s role—a Jewish soon-to-be mother, full blooded relative to BRENDAN FRASER—was created with JB in mind. Throughout the entire movie, you keep thinking: surely, they’ll have to address the fact that in a film entirely about bloodlines and family spats, JB is quite an interesting choice to be holding the future of this conservative Jewish family!!! Spoiler: They never do. But JB kills this role. She’s a woman trying to get answers and she will not do so delicately!
Queerness: ✰✰✰✰ ½ (- ½ for being sort of homophobic in execution)
Watching this movie is infuriating. It’s a time capsule of the conversation around both queerness and abortion in 1996. And yet, that’s exactly the reason I’m glad it made it to film thirty years ago. This movie, like others in JB’s filmography, has its share of ideological flaws—but those flaws are byproducts of this movie really trying to take on a social subject head-on. No veiled metaphors, no tiptoeing to age gracefully. JB is in a movie about homophobic abortion. And I’m glad she is.
At one point, even Brendan Fraser (who gives a stellar performance as a sensitive, bookish, confident queer man at the height of the AIDS crisis) contemplates JB’s question: would it be better to spare this child a life as a queer person in America? This movie is preoccupied with an ongoing conversation in this country about marginalized identities: in order to solve the discord that stems from difference, do we need to learn to embrace; assimilate; or prevent it altogether? And here’s the thing– I do not think you’ll be disappointed with the conclusion the movie comes to, even if the conversations along the way are absolutely, mind-numbingly, blind-ragingly obtuse.
Is this a good movie?
Yes.
Would I recommend this movie?
NO…t during Pride Month.
- Carmen
They Shoot Divas, Don’t They? (2002)
THIS is the movie to watch on this list—Carmen, don’t say otherwise. Directed by Jonathan Craven (…son of WES CRAVEN), JB plays Sloan McBride, a Madonna-esque 80’s pop star who’s trying to keep her career alive. Except her mysterious new assistant, Jenny, very much wants her dead. It’s Hallmark-camp and is SUCH a good fucking ride.
JBness: ✰✰✰✰✰
Jennifer goes off the fucking rails for this one. Imagine Bette Porter, heterosexual (yuck) but ten times more of a bitch, wearing peak 2000s pop star fashions, and, at one point, giving a drug fueled sit down television interview.
Queerness: ✰✰✰ ½
Is this a good movie?
This COULD have been a good movie with a bigger budget. However, this is very much from the bargain bin at the video store (said with love).
Would I recommend this movie?:
Without a doubt, YES. If you are someone who loves Bette Porter and loves Scream please give this a try and let us know what you think.
- Sara
At the end of the day, we’ve watched roughly 65% of Jennifer Beals’ filmography (including one movie that has been mysteriously scrubbed from her Letterboxd/IMDb page…JB, we found your evil bisexual Canadian movie that premiered during Season 1 of The L Word…we just want to talk). This experience has been a long one—though immensely rewarding. It was fun to come home and know we’d be watching another JB movie, with very little idea of what was actually going to pop up on our screens (or how many fake identities we’d have to assume in order to gain access to a viewable copy of the movie).
So what have we learned? We learned that Tubi is both a godsend and proof that the devil is real. We learned that Jennifer Beals would (ALLEGEDLY) listen to one of Sting’s albums between takes while filming The Bride to prepare for crying scenes. And we learned how much we love to see this lady in a tiny top! Having put in enough hours to earn our doctorates in Beals-ology, we also know that this list is just the tip of the iceberg.
We couldn’t even mention some of our favorites like Wishful Thinking (co-starring Drew Barrymore and a young Jon Stewart), 13 Moons (in which JB delivers the line “I’m Mrs. Bananas,” as she exits a jail), and The Thief and the Cobbler (AKA an animated movie that took 40 years to produce. Go down this rabbit hole. You’ll be grateful).
For 33 other reviewed JB films, check out our complete record of this project. And thanks for reading—Bette Porter apologists, sound off in the comments!
DVDs are locked regionally. So you can’t play, say, a Brazilian DVD copy of The L Word season 6 (Region 4) on an American DVD player (Region 1)
In fact, it was JB herself who brought the S1 E1 plot of Tina refusing a Black sperm donor to the table!
According to Alexandre’s Wikipedia page, he and JB met and married in the span of 2 weeks.
Alexandre Rockwell’s now-wife (Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air), who plays the mistress of JB’s husband in another movie we watched (see: 13 Moons).
Yes, they are both named Rockwell, no, they are not related.
I need to see the Bride ASAP