Power Rankings: A Castle of Queens
‘The Traitors’ Season 2 is a game of cunn(t)ing and deceit
The Yearning Rating: ✰✰✰✰
Go paid (if you want to)!
FYI! These power rankings don’t take order of elimination into consideration. Minimal spoilers for Season 2.
Written by Ali Romig
If you know me, then you probably know that I am a “competitive gay.” What does that mean, exactly, besides that I am competitive and gay? Not much, I guess. But I do think that there is something to be probed here, sociologically speaking, and that the intersection of competitive people and queer people is large enough to warrant its own nomenclature. Why do you think so many queer karaoke nights are quick to turn into thinly-veiled sing-offs (actual vocal prowess be damned)? This same brand of theatrical battling is what drives Peacock’s reality competition, The Traitors, and may also be why it’s become so popular among queer viewers—or, at least, one of the reasons.
For those who may be unfamiliar, The Traitors is essentially an elaborate game of dress-up “Mafia”, calling to mind the brand of camp present in the 1985 Clue movie. Set inside a Scottish castle, the contestants are secretly split into two groups—a small number of “Traitors” and a larger number of “Faithfuls”. Throughout the competition and under the cover of night, the Traitors must work together to eliminate, or muradah, the Faithfuls one by one in order to win a grand prize of up to $250,000. Which…honestly seems like it might be pocket change to some of these people? Especially since they have to compete in daily “missions” in order to raise the prize fund. In addition, the Faithfuls get the chance to “banish” players they think might be Traitors at nightly Round Table discussions. The player who receives the majority votes for Traitorly behavior is eliminated and on the way out, reveals whether or not they actually were Unfaithful.
Based on the Dutch series De Verraders, the US version of the show closely resembles its British counterpart—sharing a location, props, and missions—with one key difference. The UK host is Claudia Winkleman (??), and the US version is helmed by none other than Alan Cumming (of Josie and the Pussycats fame, among other things).
Dressed to the nines, and never without a cheeky aside, Cumming emcee’s the show with plenty of pomp, ushering our contestants from missions to roundtables to their quarters in a flourish of tartan. Cumming’s presence alone shifts the tone of the show from normal reality competition to gay masterpiece, but what about the contestants? Well, that’s another genius thing about The Traitors—all of the players are celebrities, the majority of whom were previously on other reality shows. Here we have a meeting of the minds, a convergence of random variables, a boobtube bonanza! Cast members flock to the castle from franchises like Survivor, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and Real Housewives, among many others. It’s endlessly intriguing to see how everyone approaches the game based on their past experiences. You can see Survivor and The Challenge alumni (“the gamers” as they are sometimes referred to) light up during missions, squarely in their wheelhouse, whereas the Housewives seem much more interested in the drama of the social play.
There’s something inherently queer about committing to the bit. There’s an element to it of breaking the fourth wall on a perceived reality. It’s over-the-top, but delivered with a wink—as if to say life’s a game, baby! What I love most about The Traitors is that it gives its contestants free license to play. That said, not every cast member takes the opportunity–some of them certainly play…well, straighter than others. In my humble opinion, the contestants from The Bachelor or Love Island seem to approach things with a bit more sincerity. This may be because on their original shows they had to entrench themselves so deeply into a manufactured narrative that even they forgot it was artificial. But others know exactly what they’re doing, and turn up the camp at every chance they get.
In lieu of a full recap, I offer a power ranking of Traitors contestants who are giving the viewers exactly what we’re here for. And keep in mind, this is based on the entire S2 cast list, and does not take order of elimination into consideration.
So, without further ado…
Sandra Diaz-Twine
Survivor
Sandra has come a long way since the first time she graced our screens on Survivor: Pearl Islands in 2003. She won that season, but I would say that she was a bit of an underdog. Her strategy was mostly to keep people from looking at her too closely, and her eventual win could arguably be attributed to a mistake that fellow finalist Lillian “Lil” Morris made—to take Sandra to the final tribal council, rather than the widely hated player, Johnny Fairplay. But a win is a win, and Sandra took hers and spun it into gold—going on to play the game of Survivor five more times, and even win it again.
Now, in The Traitors, Sandra is a fearsome competitor, gaining awe and admiration from her peers without having to do much. She’s playing the role of the strong, silent type—and doing so beautifully—her disciplined smirk revealing little more than a set of adult braces. It’s no wonder that in an episode where she barely said two words, she had other players following her lead at the roundtable, claiming that they “trust her opinion.” She is a force, and she knows it.
Peppermint
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Peppermint is the only RPDR alum, and at first, she does seem to struggle with not knowing how to approach a game as socially manipulative as The Traitors (yes, RPDR can be manipulative, but in an entirely different way). I will forever maintain that RPDR is the reality competition with the most talent represented—those queens have to sew, act, be models, be makeup artists, be comedians, etc.! It would be hard to go from a show that is about skill and artistry (not to mention a show where the cast is entirely queer), to a show that is mostly about lying more convincingly than the next person to get a bunch of straight people to listen to you. And since Peppermint has yet to be on a season of All Stars (WHEN????), she's already less familiar with the intricacies of making alliances.
Still, if there’s one thing Peppermint knows, it’s how to put on a great show. She comes to the castle with looks that rival Cumming’s, and when someone points the finger at her, she is not going to sit down and take it. Unfortunately, it feels like her obvious charm is being wasted on the wrong people…
Parvati Shallow
Survivor
Can I just say that I love The Traitors casting directors for putting Parvati and Sandra on the same season? These two are locked in a feud that’s followed them here from Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, with both claiming the title of “Queen of Survivor”. Their first meeting in the castle is beautifully awkward, and the fact that Peppermint is just kind of standing there while it happens is the icing on the cake.
But back to Parvati—our newly out queer mastermind. Parvati made a name for herself on Survivor by being the best to ever play the “flirt” game, so already we know she is willing to commit to a character. She arrives on set in a blinged-out headband and poncho looking like the second-coming of Blair Waldorf. Her willingness to get messy—not just physically, but in all senses of the word—makes her ideal for this kind of show, where the gameplay is only as entertaining as the players are ruthless. The thing that always gags me about Parvati is how sincere she is able to come off, even though you should really know better by now than to trust her! It makes me feel for the players like Ekin-Su, who might really see Parvati as a kindred spirit, when in fact—she is a whole other thing entirely (ie. GAY!...jk).
Phaedra Parks
The Real Housewives of Atlanta; Married to Medicine
Oh, my god—Phaedra! I’ll be honest, I have only seen a few episodes of RHOA with Phaedra, but from the very beginning, she made an impression. She’s an attorney, and definitely has that lawyer vibe to her. You know, that thing when someone is patting your hand and going “aww” but really they're just thinking about all the ways they can make money off of you? But who cares, because Phaedra is just so goddamn entertaining. She was made to be on a show like this, I truly believe that. She is both so good and so bad at this game. The way she makes a big deal of going “OH MY GOD” whenever a death is revealed should be laughable, but the truth is if I were in the room with her, I’d probably buy it too—just because it’s all so Phaedra.
I just hope that this season of The Traitors can give us something as iconic as the Phaedra vs. Kenya moment on the Season 6 RHOA reunion (below). Is Phaedra playing a character? Is her true character this genuinely fabulous? I don’t know, but I do love when she’s on my screen.
Did I miss any players you would have shouted out? If so, leave a comment and let us know why you love them <3
The Traitors Season 2 is available to stream on Peacock, with new episodes dropping on Thursdays at 9 PM ET. The season finale will air on February 29th.
The Elephant in the Werkroom
Season 16, Episode 7:
It’s a Rusical! I normally love the Rusicals, and while this one wasn’t bad, there was something a bit underwhelming about the idea of a dragged up “Sound of Music”—how do you solve a problem like boredom?
More werkroom antics took over a majority of this episode. At one point Xunami, Q, and Plane go around…bullying people? Plane says something about being the “villain everyone insists I am.” GIRL! You have literally been begging for us to call you villain since day one!
Melissa McCarthy coming out and saying she started her career in drag? I’m not saying she didn’t, but this does maybe feel like it was filmed during The Little Mermaid PR tour…
Plasma did a great job, but I fear we won’t ever hear the end of it.
Nymphia Wind said literally zero words this episode :(
